Girl: He’s like, “Why so cold?” and I’m like, “You licked my ear! You licked my ear! You licked my ear! I cannot emphasize enough that you licked my ear.”
–43rd & 9th
Girl on cell: So if he licked my pussy, would it ruin our friendship?
–W 4th Street
Eight-year old boy: Can I please lick your eyeball, mom?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: thankfully, not the mom
20-something woman talking to friends: So, having some guy really close to your ear with his tongue out is the most horrifying thing ever… Some guy just licked me on the subway. He emptied, like, an entire tube of toothpaste on my hair and back and then proceeded to lick it off me…I got to work and went to the bathroom. I washed my hair, and scrubbed my back raw, but I didn’t feel clean until I got home and took a shower.
–Gift Shop, The Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Lauren Weiss
Girl to friend: And then she bent over and he licked her ass.
–Astor Place Subway Station
Overheard by: Shane and Sammy
Pretentious redhead: So I said, “Please don’t lick me. I’m just trying to do my job.”
–Uptown E Train
Overheard by: wondering where she works