Girl: He’s like, “Why so cold?” and I’m like, “You licked my ear! You licked my ear! You licked my ear! I can­not em­pha­size enough that you licked my ear.”

–43rd & 9th

Girl on cell: So if he licked my pussy, would it ru­in our friend­ship?

–W 4th Street

Eight-year old boy: Can I please lick your eye­ball, mom?

–Mu­se­um of Nat­ur­al His­to­ry

Over­heard by: thank­ful­ly, not the mom

20-some­thing woman talk­ing to friends: So, hav­ing some guy re­al­ly close to your ear with his tongue out is the most hor­ri­fy­ing thing ever… Some guy just licked me on the sub­way. He emp­tied, like, an en­tire tube of tooth­paste on my hair and back and then pro­ceed­ed to lick it off me…I got to work and went to the bath­room. I washed my hair, and scrubbed my back raw, but I did­n’t feel clean un­til I got home and took a show­er.

–Gift Shop, The Met­ro­pol­i­tan Mu­se­um of Art

Over­heard by: Lau­ren Weiss

Girl to friend: And then she bent over and he licked her ass.

–As­tor Place Sub­way Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Shane and Sam­my

Pre­ten­tious red­head: So I said, “Please don’t lick me. I’m just try­ing to do my job.”

–Up­town E Train

Over­heard by: won­der­ing where she works