Girl look­ing at garbage and dirt spilled on the side­walk: Gross. You think it’s sup­posed to be art?

–Broad­way & Hous­ton

Lit­er­a­ture pro­fes­sor: So any­thing that any­body ever paint­ed was a Gui­do?

–NYU Sil­ver Cen­ter

Plau­si­bly mad sep­tu­a­ge­nar­i­an clerk: When I was 16 Stravin­sky bought my first paint­ing. It was writ­ten up in the pa­per. A cou­ple of days lat­er, I was kid­napped.

–Barnes & No­ble, Lin­coln Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Seth

Fa­ther to four-year-old son: Look­ing at art makes your legs tired.

–Met­ro­pol­i­tan Mu­se­um Lob­by

Philis­tine: I don’t like art in which you have to un­der­stand the mo­ti­va­tion be­hind it.

–Out­side the Guggen­heim

Over­heard by: De­vot­ed Pup­py

Pro­fes­sor-type man to group of teens look­ing at Greek sculp­tures: And if the sculp­ture’s back is up against the wall and you want to see it from be­hind, just get up against a wall and look at its ass as much as you can… yeah! It’s not dirty or wrong… Just look at its ass!

–Met­ro­pol­i­tan Mu­se­um of Art