Not-so-chub­by girl: Dude, I’m so fat.
Or­di­nary girl: No you’re not. You just got a lit­tle bel­ly.
Not-so-chub­by girl: Yeah…I wish I had fat mag­nets so I could put them in my bra. It would suck up all my fat and make me go up a cup size.
Or­di­nary girl: Wow. And I al­ways thought plas­tic surgery was the on­ly op­tion.