Tourist back­pack­er with hands on sub­way doors: Do these open on their own?

–1 Train

Tourist mom to un­cool son: Well, that’s what you get for try­ing to be a hip­ster!

–Union Square Park

Over­heard by: j

Tourist: Holy moly, look at that Olive Gar­den! It’s huge! I wish I lived here!
(takes a pic­ture of the restau­rant)

–Times Square

Obese Mid­west­ern woman to obese Mid­west­ern man: Oooh, Ap­ple­bee’s… Now I feel at home here!

–Times Square

South­ern tourist guy: I thought peo­ple in Green­wich Vil­lage would look stranger.

–Bleeck­er Street

Tourist from west coast, af­ter ob­serv­ing the lo­cals for a few in­nings: You know, Se­in­feld makes so much more sense to me now.

–Cheap Seats, Coney Is­land Cy­clones

Over­heard by: Kevin Eliasen