Guy on cell: …and she says, “If you cheat on me, you’ll die, and go to hell and burn.” So I say, “There’s no way I’m going to hell for a bitch. Cause there’s too many of them!”

–Lafayette & Fulton, Brooklyn

Construction worker: Yeah man, I just raw dogged her and ditched!

–Grand & Ludlow

Man on cell: How’s the birthday?…Yeah, big 5 – 0 for me.…Well, I ditched the wife, make more money, and have a 33 year old girlfriend. That’s 50 for ya.

–N train

Overheard by: Doug Gaeta 

Guy: Is that her panties or his sock he’s sniffing?

–Mary Boone Gallery, W. 24th Street

Overheard by: Captive 411 

Bike girl on cell: Hey, this is Tammy. Yet again you were in my dream. It involved fucking. Call me back.

–Prospect Park

Hipster: Nothing says “I love you” like a cactus.

–52nd & 9th

Overheard by: kath williams