FD­NY lieu­tenant to EMTs: Hey, get this! Some guy just called 911 be­cause some guy looked scary!

–34th & 10th

Over­heard by: guy in back of am­bu­lance

Gay guy to an­oth­er: I’m ter­ri­fied of suc­cess­ful women!

–23rd & Park Ave

Over­heard by: Moy

(guy with drums fin­ish­es a per­for­mance in the train)
Guy with drums: Ladies and gen­tle­men, thank you for lis­ten­ing. Help a broth­er out and do­nate some mon­ey if you en­joyed this per­for­mance. (la­dy in front of him looks scared)
Please do­nate and if you don’t know what to do or are scared, smile and nod. Every­thing will be okay.

–E Train

Over­heard by: Sleepy

Crazy bag la­dy to high school boy: I ain’t scared of you. I’ll beat you with a crow­bar. Cuz I got­ta crow­bar in my pussy and it’s way up there!

–B54 Bus

Suit on cell: And I was scared, right? Be­cause her legs were open in the ceme­tery.

–Gramer­cy Park