Sassy eight-year-old to moth­er: You don’t know Span­ish ex­cept what you learned from Se­le­na.

–2 Train

Chick on cell: Watch­ing 27 Dress­es in a chee­tah robe…

–110th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Vir­ginia

Lit­tle boy, as his moth­er asks for di­rec­tions: Great, we’re lost in New York City. It’s like Home Alone!

–Across from Spa­malot The­atre

Fag to hag: Don’t you re­mem­ber that time on Ti­tan­ic when Leonar­do Di­Caprio told you not to just talk about it, but do it? He was gonna teach you how to spit like a man and ride a horse like a man, and then the ship sank and he died. This is your mo­ment. Spit, woman, spit!

–Nat­ur­al His­to­ry Mu­se­um

(at a screen­ing of The Shin­ing)
Woman: Ha­ha! How can a ghost open a door? This movie sucks!

–Em­pire-Ful­ton Fer­ry State Park

Thug to an­oth­er: And she said she wan­na go to the movies. And I said I don’t wan­na go to the movies, I want some pussy!

–57th & 9th

Over­heard by: JPM

Pan­han­dler on train: Please, I can’t af­ford the rent at the YM­CA be­cause they just raised it. So if any­one has some mon­ey or some food or some­thing to drink, it would re­al­ly help me out. Je­sus loves peo­ple who help poor peo­ple. Al­so, don’t for­get to see the new sum­mer block­buster Hell­boy II. It’s re­al­ly great.

–F Train

Over­heard by: JB