Fat tourist: Ex­act­ly, like, I know Dis­ney triv­ia, but of course I don’t know gen­er­al triv­ia.

–El­lis Is­land

Over­heard by: Cat

Fe­male tourist with Irish ac­cent, read­ing leaflet: Jaysas lads, it on­ly took them 14 months to build this, I won­der if it’s okay like.

–Em­pire State Build­ing

Over­heard by: joanie

Tourist gaz­ing up at the Em­pire State Build­ing: They sure could fit a lot­ta hay in there!

–Out­side Em­pire State Build­ing

Over­heard by: Dup­py

Tourist: Where do they keep the ceme­ter­ies around here?

–Next to St. Paul’s Cemetery/Church

Fe­male tourist: Oh my god, I can’t be­lieve we’re on the 6… Just like J.Lo.

–Down­town 6 Train

Over­heard by: Court­ney C.

Overzeal­ous British tourist fa­ther, point­ing at map: Okay, every­one. We’re pass­ing by Madi­son Square Gar­dens. They must be love­ly at this time of year. We’re on the Met­ro­pol­i­tan Line, see? The Met Line. Just like in Lon­don. We’re go­ing to get off at Rec­tor Street. It’s the last stop be­fore Brook­lyn, so if we miss our stop, we’ll be in Brook­lyn, and we don’t want that! Look, now there are no more num­bers. When there are no more num­bers in the sta­tion names, that means we’re at the bot­tom of the un­der­ground. Oh, look, it’s Chi­na­town. This is where all the ori­en­tals get off.

–R Line

Over­heard by: of­fice pe­on is one of those Ori­en­tals…

Fe­male tourist: Know what? Fuck it, I just want to go back to my ho­tel room and take a shit.

–Canal St