Big black crossdresser: Oh honey, I know that no amount of surgery is going to make me a diva!

–3 Train

Overheard by: Kailee McMahon

Mother to small daughter: Honey, don’t forget to wash your hands. (girl scrubs hands for a long time) Honey, you aren’t getting ready to perform surgery. Hurry up.

–Women’s Bathroom, The Met

Man: He had to have his top hat surgically removed.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Kevin

Intern: Latex gloves are for killing people, surgery and dying your hair.

–1501 Broadway

Overheard by: Randi

Loud woman on phone: Yeah, he got his tubes clipped this weekend. He’s been fixed! Oh, but don’t tell anyone, he doesn’t want anybody to know.

–Dunkin Donuts

Girl on cell: How did teaching go? How was the surgery? Did human skin taste good?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: The Poogtastic One