Fe­male suit in bath­room stall: Well, are you gonna have those files? (paus­es, makes bath­room nois­es) Okay, well, I need it to­day. Listen…okay…(pauses, more bath­room nois­es) Great! (paus­es, toi­let flush­es) No, it’s okay, go ahead. (paus­es) Okay, no, I’m re­al­ly sorry–I’m just en­ter­ing the sub­way, that’s what all that noise was. (storms out of the bath­room, does­n’t wash her hands)

–34th St & 9th St

Flus­tered 50-some­thing suit: It’s burn­ing! It’s burn­ing!

–Penn Sta­tion Bath­room

Man in stall: There should be a law against what’s com­ing out of me.

–25th St & Park Ave

Over­heard by: I agree

Suit in bath­room on cell: Hon­ey, I can’t talk to you right now. (pause) I’m in the bath­room! (pause) I’ve got a fuck­ing dick in my hand! (pause) What do you mean whose dick?

–Re­stroom, Grand Cen­tral

Six-year-old kid, fin­ish­ing at uri­nal: Shake the weasel!

–Men’s Room, Re­gal Bat­tery Park City Cin­e­mas

Over­heard by: Russ Wall