Two-year-old, point­ing to Citibank: That’s my bank!

–7th Ave & Pres­i­dent St, Park Slope

Over­heard by: But who’s your in­sur­ance car­ri­er?

Nine-year old boy on cell: Well, you know what? Fuck you! I’m go­ing home! (slams cell shut and be­gins strut­ting across park­ing lot)

–Park­ing Lot, Stat­en Is­land Mall

Over­heard by: WTF????

Ten-year-old girl in bathing suit to sev­en-year-old girl: Stop touch­ing my ass. Whore!

–Park, As­to­ria

Lit­tle girl to group of lit­tle girls: Raise your hand if you’re al­ler­gic to peni­cillin!

–R Train

Over­heard by: cole

Lit­tle girl to friends, point­ing at plat­form: That’s where ho­bos live!

–4 Train

Over­heard by: Je­sus Jon

Three-year-old boy, eat­ing ham­burg­er: Cock cock cock cock!

–Madi­son Square Park

Over­heard by: Alex­is from Texas

Kid in cart at end of dairy aisle as man he came in with goes down aisle: Ssome­one’s gonna take me! Some­one’s take me!

–Stop & Shop, Kings­bridge, Bronx

Over­heard by: Kriszti­na