Young black guy to another: You know, Obama is to politics what Richard Simmons is to exercise.

–PATH Train

Guy standing outside bar: And she was like, “What, like Gary Coleman?” and I’m like, “No, not like fucking Gary Coleman!”

–4th & 10th

Girl to boyfriend: Well, Tom Green only had one testicle. It’s totally fine.

–E 11th St

Overheard by: j

Suit on cell: And I was like, “Fuck you, Ryan Cabrera”!

–Bedford & 6th St

Black girl on cell: I told you, we’re like the Paris Hiltons of Liberia.

–Borders, Wall St

Overheard by: step

Guy (after taking picture with Jeremy Piven): Damn! I can’t put this on MySpace. I’m wearing the same shirt I wore when I met Chazz Palminteri!

–Outside Barrymore Theatre

Overheard by: Pasta…Salad