Woman on cell: I have to get home so I can put away the b‑o-n‑g.

–19th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Kyle

Man in light green suit with or­ange-red gators: Read the bible tonight. Don’t smoke that Scoo­by Doo­bie Doo. Don’t get high tonight!

–125th & Lenox

Over­heard by: Plau­si­ble

Young hip­ster: So I said, “Mom, did you smoke with me?”

–Cen­tral Park Reser­voir

An­gry girl­friend to boyfriend: Okay, so you don’t want me smok­ing pot, you don’t want me smok­ing cig­a­rettes or cloves, you don’t want me chew­ing gum and now you don’t like lol­lipops? So tell me, Pe­ter, what can I put in my mouth that’s okay with you?

–L Train

Over­heard by: It’s me, bitch­es.

Teacher: Steve*, I need to talk to your pot deal­er, be­cause the stuff you’re smok­ing is re­al­ly good.

–Coop­er Union

Over­heard by: me too

Guy talk­ing on blue tooth: I should be there in about 45 min­utes. (pause) Yeah, I’m se­ri­ous! (pause) Look. I got an idea for ya. Why don’t you go roll a big fat blunt, smoke it un­til you can’t see any­more and then I’ll be there. Al­right? Bye.

–8th Ave & 27th St

Over­heard by: Er­i­ca Fried­man

Girl: I mean hon­est­ly, who at NYU does­n’t smell like weed?

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park