A car, stuck in traffic behind a garbage truck starts blowing its horn loudly and insistently. A nicely dressed lady shouts: Shut the fuck up, you moron! Haven’t you ever seen a garbage truck before? Fucking moron tourists.

–W. 4th & Perry

Bouncer: Next white boy lays hands on me, I’m gonna fuck him up. 

–West 3rd & MacDougal

Overheard by: Todd Seavey

Girl on cell: Yeah, well tell her I hope she gets a bladder infection!

–Hot Bagels, Staten Island

Overheard by: Renee 

Chef: As much as I like her, if she raises her voice at me one more time, I’m gonna fucking smack her.

–Park Slope

Old guy: Move, you drug addicted heathens! You’re all a bunch of sinners. Polluters!

–50th & 6th

Overheard by: Jeff Rigby 

Man on cell: Dude, why did we draw straws this morning?…Do you have any idea how much cat food costs?! That was my rent money!…Well, kick out the new guy! 

–Union Square Park

A guy waiting to turn left across traffic leans out the window to scream at the clueless Ohio driver who is not moving in front of him: Hey Cleveland! That’s the only shade of green we got!

–57th & Park

Overheard by: Joan Quinn 

Chick on cell: Damn old ladies. Like, maybe Gandhi was wrong and the answer really is punching people in the face? 

–D’Agostino’s, 110th & Broadway

Overheard by: djlindee