Teacher: My fa­ther al­ways told me, “Nev­er run away from a fight. If the guy’s big­ger than you, hit him. If he gets back up, hit him again. If he gets back up again, hit him with a garbage can. If he still gets back up, run like hell, ’cause this dude’s gonna kill you!”

–Stuyvesant High School

Teacher: Okay. Emer­gency pro­ce­dures. If the fire bell rings, we run like hell.

–Stuyvesant High School

Over­heard by: Goober

Chi­nese teacher (re­fer­ring to Sichuan earth­quake): They had a say­ing af­ter the earth­quake hap­pened that orig­i­nates from a male part. “Peo­ple are sup­posed to rise up, and get hard!” …and be strong.

–Bard High School Ear­ly Col­lege

Math teacher: Give me your lit­tle men!

–Spence School

Eng­lish teacher: I could be charged with child abuse in some states for teach­ing gram­mar in 90-de­gree weath­er. (stu­dent is silent) I’m not go­ing to hit you.

–Brook­lyn Tech

Over­heard by: Julie