Man: You know what I love? Farting in supermarkets.

–Broadway & 87th

Overheard by: alice townes

Woman on cell: Went to the club last night, goin’ to the club tonight, tomorrow sit on my ass: D-V-D!

–Eldridge & Stanton

Queer on cell: I mean, he left bruises and scratches all over my ass! I could barely sit down on the subway this morning! I’m telling you, if something happens to me today, the ER people are gonna think I’ve been beaten.

–23rd St between 6th and 7th