Ra­di­ol­o­gy nurse: I have been asked out be­fore. But nev­er while giv­ing a bar­i­um en­e­ma!

–Ra­di­ol­o­gy Med­ical Of­fice, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Pa­per

Doc­tor on cell: I have to get ori­ent­ed as to the lo­ca­tion of those ca­dav­ers!

–3rd Ave, Near Cabri­ni Med­ical Cen­ter

Old­er doc­tor to younger doc­tor in a group: You ac­tu­al­ly tried to get a der­ma­tol­ogy con­sul­tant to come in the mid­dle of the night? That was pret­ty dumb. You know those guys would­n’t get out of their Shea but­ter body wraps un­less the world was end­ing.

–Kings Coun­ty Emer­gency Room

Suit to la­dy friend: If you re­al­ly want­ed to smoke crack you’d go to the hos­pi­tal!

–Nas­sau St & Ann St

Over­weight girl to fe­male friend: Wan­na play gy­ne­col­o­gist?

–St. Mark’s Place

Over­heard by: Sarah Booz