Heavy-set and sweaty bus driver to woman with pizza: Lemme…uh…have that pizza. (woman smiles awkwardly, thinking it’s a joke) I wasn’t kidding. Lemme have that pizza. (woman holding a bag of cookies gets on bus with child)
Heavy-set and sweaty bus driver: Oh, lemme just…uh uh…have one of these…uh uh…cookies. (takes cookie)
Small Asian woman (taken aback and extremely confused): What? You can’t take these.
(bus driver stuffs cookie in mouth and ignores woman)
Bus driver, on PA: Lady, these are some good cookies.
–Uptown Bus to Met from Port Authority