Con­duc­tor: Ladies and gen­tle­men, we apol­o­gize for the de­lay. There is a prob­lem with a sig­nal and there are trains in front of us. The good news is, there’s a bar car!

–Metro North

Over­heard by: An­na

Obese la­dy buy­ing pork chops to obese friend: I be cut­ting down on on so­da.

–Troy Ave & Park Place

Ex­as­per­at­ed woman: And he was drink­ing Jack Daniels be­fore he even got to my place…

–3rd & 6th

Over­heard by: j

Fe­male suit on cell: Well, what do you ex­pect? It was green Gatorade and grain al­co­hol!

–Broad­way & 54th St

Over­heard by: Loren

Bag la­dy to an­oth­er: Lis­ten, Al­ice, if you don’t want to lose your leg, you got­ta drink wa­ter, they’ll take your legs oth­er­wise.

–42nd St & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: Robin

Fran­tic woman on cell: Oh my god! There is no soy milk any­where in this city! (sprints out of Star­bucks)

–Star­bucks, Times Square

Over­heard by: el­lie

Tough guy out­side bar with friends: So I like ap­ple juice. What the fuck?

–East Vil­lage