CC­NY stu­dent: I’ve al­ways thought he has psy­cho­log­i­cal prob­lems. (pause) Like, he’s one of those peo­ple that has to flip the light switch 17 times or the whole world dies.

–Hall­way, CC­NY

Over­heard by: la­dyliv­er

Suit on cell: She is try­ing to get a good ed­u­ca­tion so that she can pay for ther­a­py lat­er on.

–1250 Broad­way

Loud male cus­tomer count­ing out pack­ets of chew­ing to­bac­co: One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Ever since I quit my job at Sesame Street, I can’t seem to live my life. Ker­mit is my shrink, so of course I’m screwed…

–Smoke Shop, Park Slope

Over­heard by: Kiri

Dude hang­ing up his cell: Oh my god, I think all Jew­ish girls need ther­a­py.

–Good Stuff Din­er, 14th St

Over­heard by: Kosi

Suit on cell: Dude, I know, but like, you ei­ther get help, or you’re nor­mal. (pause) No, dude, pick one, get help or be nor­mal. Damn.

–Port Au­thor­i­ty

Over­heard by: Sarah

His­to­ry teacher to class: Does that make you un­com­fort­able? Be­cause I know I’m men­tal.

–Bronx High School of Sci­ence

Over­heard by: Lil­lian