Teen girl: Yeah, and then I woke up in a pool of his vomit. It was awesome. 

–Bronx Science

Overheard by: SammyCat 

Construction worker on cell: Yeah, she walked right in…Man, I was friggin’ jerking off!…No. She stayed and watched…Of course I’m calling her again.

–53rd & Lexington

Man on cell: She and I both got diarrhea at 11:00 exactly. I mean, we’re like E.T. and Elliot.

–20th & 5th

Girl on cell: I’m telling you, watching my boyfriend get head was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen!

–F train

Overheard by: seraphina