Hip­ster Pee-wee Her­man looka­like to friend: Oh, and when I give her anilin­gus to let me di­rect a show? You’re to­tal­ly gonna be in it!

–Q Train

Over­heard by: Flea

Man: I be­lieve some of this will be made up.

–Go­ing in­to Wicked, Broad­way

Over­heard by: CAM

Black high­school girl: Oh my god, why do they keep singing?

In the Heights, Broad­way Mu­si­cal

Over­heard by: Cook­ie

Woman in Jer­sey ac­cent: Is this the one about the boy who wants to be a horse or the girl who wants to be a fish?

–At Equ­us, Broad­hurst The­atre

Over­heard by: Harlem­Ry

Daniel Rad­cliffe fan girl: I have to be in this show some day. Even if I’m eighty, I got­ta be in this show with him. I’d be like, “put it in me! Put it in me!”

–At Equ­us, Broad­hurst The­atre

Over­heard by: Nik­ki

Man leav­ing Hair: Well, that beats the hell out­ta Shake­speare!

–Out­side Dela­corte The­ater, Cen­tral Park