Black hobo to rush-hour crowd: So, did ya’ hear now Oba­ma’s pres­i­dent they gonna tear down the Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty? Yeah, they gonna put up a new statue–one o’ Aunt Jemi­ma!”

–Shut­tle Train GCT

Over­heard by: Mrs. But­ter­worth

Hobo: Hey, kids! I wish I was a kid again. Then I’d have a hun­dred mil­lion dol­lars!

–Hen­ry St, Brook­lyn Heights

Over­heard by: Jesse

Hobo to clerk: Don’t wor­ry, ba­by, I’ll take care of the Gaza Strip.

–Deli, 45th & 3rd

Over­heard by: LP

Hobo to girl with box­ing gloves at­tached to her back­pack: Hi, there! Give a lit­tle mon­ey to help the home­less? (si­lence) I’ll take any­thing but a punch in the face!

–As­tor & Lafayette

Over­heard by: An­di C.

Shout­ing hobo: The fam­i­ly that scratch­es their butts to­geth­er has smelly fin­gers!

–34th St & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: Kramer

Hobo cross­ing street and push­ing shop­ping cart: Hi ho Sil­ver!

–23rd St & Park Ave