Base­ball fan #1: Oh, I’m go­ing to get laid tonight.
Base­ball fan #2: Are you go­ing to call Al­ice?
Base­ball fan #1: Oh no, you don’t un­der­stand my life, man! I’ve got this girl who just sits on a milk crate and sucks my cock!
Base­ball fan #2: Dude!
Base­ball fan #2: Where does she do this? On a crate? What?
Base­ball fan #1: You don’t un­der­stand my life, man! She just does it wher­ev­er! I’m lit­er­al­ly ready to smoke crack at any minute!
Base­ball fan #2: Man, we don’t want to know.
Base­ball fan #1: I’m ready to smoke crack at any minute! You just can’t con­trol these things.

–Yan­kee Sta­di­um

Over­heard by: si­mon