Drunk guy on sub­way, try­ing to whis­per: Um…for fu­ture ref­er­ence, don’t use that French ac­cent next time we fuck.
Loud drunk girl, break­ing in­to hys­ter­i­cal laugh­ter: Ha! And then you’re go­ing to tell me not to fart on your balls!

–B Train

Over­heard by: Glad I missed that par­ty