Hobo to him­self: The VA wants $200. (pause) How can I give them $200? (pause) I on­ly get $320. (pause) Maybe I’ll bribe them. (pause) No, that won’t work–you need mon­ey to bribe peo­ple.

–Chase ATM, Gram­mer­cy

Over­heard by: cmk

Head­line by: Lu­mi­nesce

Run­ners-Up:
· “He’ll Be Run­ning a Hedge Fund in No Time” — again
· “I Guess the Facelift Will Have to Wait” — JohnAustin
· “In the End, He’ll Use His Sex Ap­peal” — Daniel
· “It’s a Catch-22” — Gary
· “Or Just Vom­it on Their Doorstep Un­til They Cave in” — Fres­ca P
· “You Could Try to Sell Barack Oba­ma’s Sen­ate Seat” — Nick Pol­lot­ta

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test