Old­er, dirty-look­ing hobo: Hey, spare me some change, all I want tonight is a hook­er and some malt liquor.

–Ave A & 4th St

20-some­thing girl: Se­ri­ous­ly! There is noth­ing bet­ter af­ter a stress­ful day than steal­ing a car, pick­ing up a hook­er, tak­ing her to the beach, fuck­ing her, killing her, get­ting your mon­ey back and not get­ting ar­rest­ed. Noth­ing!

–Un­der­hill & St. Mark’s, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Claire H.

Young woman to boss: If you don’t give me more hours, I’m­ma have to start sell­in’ my pussy!

–Chelsea

Over­heard by: Hol­ly

Sub­way mu­si­cian in drag the night be­fore Valen­tine’s Day: Be with the one you love! If you don’t have any­one, then hire some­body! And keep your re­ceipt!

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

Over­heard by: Morn­ing Glo­ry

Mu­si­cian on train plat­form: Every­thing gonna be al­right! Get home safe, New York. Re­mem­ber: if you see some­thing, say some­thing, don’t keep it to your­self. And re­mem­ber, New York, if you can’t be with the one you love, pay some­one! Keep all the re­ceipts. I know what I’m talk­ing about.

–B Train

Over­heard by: Free Love