Father to teenage daughter: Oh, well…the party was in Queens.
Daughter: Fuck Queens!
Father, quickly checking calendar on cell phone: Not on Gay Pride Day, honey.
Daughter: Haha! Hang on, I’m going to write that down. I’ll use it in a story for my creative writing class!
Father: Oh, don’t write it down…it’s not even funny. And always remember…if you want your story to be funny, just put in a monkey. It always works for me!
Daughter: Didn’t you novel get bad reviews, though? They said it wasn’t funny at all.
Father: Well, obviously, I should have written in several more monkeys.

–Tompkins Square Park