Teacher: Some of the an­swer choic­es peo­ple picked were re­al­ly out there. I prob­a­bly could’ve put peanut but­ter and jel­ly, and peo­ple would think, “Oh, damn, I’m hun­gry, I should pick that.”

–Stuyvesant High School

Over­heard by: Stu­dent

Teacher: Guys, no mat­ter what hap­pens, if you’re ab­sent on a test day you must bring in a note! I don’t care if you’re walk­ing to school and sud­den­ly the ground opens up and you’re sucked in­to candyland–I need a note!

–La­Guardia High School

Over­heard by: a note of choco­late?

Acoustics teacher: This on­ly em­pha­sizes how lit­tle I know about acoustics. Or rather, how lit­tle is known about acoustics.

–Coop­er Union, As­tor Place

Over­heard by: a stu­dent is on­ly as good as his t each­er

Teacher to lit­tle boy: You ain’t gonna die just cause your leg got sprin­kled on!

–L Train

Over­heard by: Mis­shellee

Prin­ci­pal: I can see what you’re doing…with this bounc­ing and the lit­tle hand on your hip…you’re try­ing to un­der­mine my au­thor­i­ty with your bad pos­ture, I can see ex­act­ly what you think of my ad­min­is­tra­tion.

–Bard High School Ear­ly Col­lege