Coked-out hip­ster girl­friend, loud­ly: And that’s why I could nev­er wake up for Pi­lates.
Hip­ster boyfriend: Ju­lia. Turn the voice down. Peo­ple are look­ing.
Coked-out hip­ster girl­friend: Well, I can’t help the way my voice projects. I used to be an ac­tress.
Hip­ster boyfriend: No, you did­n’t.
Coked-out hip­ster girl­friend: Well, I’m a mod­el.
Hip­ster boyfriend: No, you’re not.
Coked-out hip­ster girl­friend: I’m kind of a drug deal­er.
Hip­ster boyfriend: Yeah. Which is so gay.

–Williams­burg Bridge