Yankees fan to Mets friends: When we go to the Yankees stadium I’ll be like a retard at a Chuck E. Cheese.
Overheard by: Danial
Police officer in van, on loudspeaker: Move to the right! (people in cars ignore the order) Retards! You heard me! Move to the right!
–27th St & 10th Ave
Crazy guy, ranting: You can’t have sex with people who aren’t retarded because they charge too damn much!
Overheard by: Ryan P.
Guy to girl: I never said that I wasn’t retarded. Technically, I’m not a hypocrite.
Overheard by: Julia
Heavily made-up girl: Do you think retarded people are, like, conceptually aware that they’re retarded?
Overheard by: You tell me
Girl: The idea of a retarded Jack Russell Terrier is completely foreign to me, because as I recall, Wishbone was exceptionally well-read.