Guy: Once I told my friend Ivan that I like to eat my scabs, and he said he did too, so we ate each other scabs.
Ugly drunk girl: Sometimes I pick people’s noses. (pause) Usually nothing comes out!
–LIRR, Huntington Line
Overheard by: I 3 Commuters Black guy on cell: Then I put KY all over her pussy, yo, and she wanted to spoon that shit up and eat it!
Man to family: Well, I’ve got to assume he’s getting sick anyway, judging by the snot I just saw.
–Grand Central Station
Male law student: That’s the good thing. You can scratch all day and it won’t spread.
–Fordham Law School
20-something receptionist: Urp! I think I just coughed up a fetus. I better Lysol the phone.
Overheard by: BrooklynBorn