Moth­er to scream­ing child: Please stop cry­ing and put your coat on. I am not hurt­ing you or tor­tur­ing you, so please stop cry­ing.

–4th Ave, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: olive­juice

Fa­ther to kid who just start­ed cry­ing: Hey, stop! I thought I told you to wait un­til we got home!

–Park Slope, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Lu­cian

Guy to girl, on Valen­tine’s Day: You look fat when you cry.

–Cob­ble Hill

Over­heard by: MJB

His­pan­ic man on phone to girl­friend: Ma, why you cryin?! You should be break­ing up with me be­cause I hit you!

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry

Guy to girl­friend: I’m sor­ry I pulled your hair while you were cry­ing.

–Bow­ery & 2nd