White trash woman to an­gry boyfriend: Stop! I’m in my car and I love my­self! I love my­self! Fuck you if you don’t love your­self! Tyra says to love your­self, and I love my­self!

–49th & 11th

Con­duc­tor: Pas­sen­gers, as you all know the New Haven line is known as the Love Line, be­cause of our red col­ors and red sched­ules. For Valen­tine’s Day why not buy a loved one a tick­et? Noth­ing says “I love you” like a Metro North tick­et! Imag­ine the look on your moth­er-in-law’s face when she opens up her present to find a one way trip to Man­hat­tan!

–Metro North Train

Soror­i­ty girl: And this is a list of all the girls who love Jell‑o.

–St. John’s Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Pe­ter G

Guy on Blue­tooth: What did I say? I said I love you and you did­n’t fuck­ing say any­thing back. What the fuck am I sup­posed to do with that?

–Jack­son Heights

Ex­cit­ed black guy to friend: Damn! I think I’m in love, she’s like the whole pack­age! She’s pret­ty, she’s fuck­able, and she can cook!

–A Train

Over­heard by: Tim

Lit­tle boy leav­ing the church: Bye, Je­sus! I love you!

–River­side Church

Over­heard by: Stephanie