Hip­ster girl: And he’s al­ways like, “oh god, I’m so hard!” and I’m al­ways just like, “re­al­ly?”

–Kim­mel Cafe­te­ria, NYU

Loud pas­sen­ger: I’m so horny I’d fuck a pota­to right now.

–Metro-North

Over­heard by: fin­ger­ling

Guy: I’ve had a hard-on all day! I need to pol­ish my lid.

–Hard Rock Cafe

Beard­ed hip­ster to an­oth­er, on blan­ket in the park: Like, I could have sex eight times in a day and still come here and get a bon­er.

–Mc­Car­ren Park, Williams­burg

Over­heard by: kalbi­jim

Girl to guy friend: Did you just get a bon­er while we’re talk­ing about Mex­i­cans and drown­ing?

–Williams­burg