Well-dressed British man on cell, as he walks odd­ly: Lis­ten girl, I fart­ed so hard yes­ter­day I blast­ed half my ass off. (pause) No, se­ri­ous­ly! I am still walk­ing fun­ny!

–24th St b/w 6th & 7th

Over­heard by: Joseph

Teenage boy to an­oth­er: One time this hot bitch fart­ed on my lap, and I did­n’t know what to do.

–12th St & Uni­ver­si­ty Place

Crazy hobo sit­ting on blan­ket: I used to wear un­der­wear, but then I fart­ed and left a stain, so de­cid­ed no more. Can any­one spare any change?

–87th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Ny­nan­ny

Girl from Louisiana: What can I say? I’m a South­ern girl. I fart craw­fish.

–McLean Ave, Yonkers

Woman on phone: Well, the ro­mance is out of my life: this morn­ing Greg came in my mouth, then straight away leaned back and fart­ed.

–Beard St & Van Brunt St, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: craig hunter