Crotch­ety old Jew­ish la­dy, pass­ing Palm Sun­day pa­rade: East­er is for am­a­teurs.

–W 72nd St & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Nao­mi Choy Smith

Lit­tle old la­dy look­ing down steep base­ment stair­way: Wow…I would­n’t want to be drunk go­ing down those stairs!

–Broome & Es­sex

Old guy: I’m go­ing out for a smoke. If you see some­one take this jack­et, shoot to kill.


Old man with beard, hunched over walk­er, watch­ing cou­ple hold­ing hands: You two been doin’ the nasty, ain’t ya?

–27th & Broad­way

Old black la­dy in wheel­chair: I mean, what was he gonna do with a dead body?


Over­heard by: Lau­ren

Very old man to an­oth­er, in thick New York ac­cent: Ya got­ta take it…and put it on ya rec­tum like this. (demon­strates with hand ges­ture)

–53rd St & 10th Ave

El­der­ly gen­tle­man to an­oth­er: From now on, you will obey me!

–Carnegie Hall