Chick on cell: It’s all about the eye­ball lick. Tell her.

–59th St & 9th Ave

Over­heard by: aenig­ma

NYPD cop: I would rather lick the street than ever smell your fart again.

–Forsyth St & E Hous­ton St

Over­heard by: Dave‑o

Teen girl to friends: He’s so gross! Se­ri­ous­ly, I’d rather lick my cat’s ass­hole than hook up with that guy!

–Barnes & No­ble, Bay­side

Guy at bar to friend: I can’t be­lieve you mar­ried a woman who won’t lick your ass­hole.

–Ale House, Mac­Dou­gal St

Ran­dom woman: Why do you al­ways in­sist on lick­ing my el­bow?

–86th & 3rd

Over­heard by: Jana