20-some­thing girl to two girl­friends: We’ve been dat­ing for two months. Nor­mal­ly in my re­la­tion­ships, it’s “he loves me, and I love me,” but now I feel like he knows I like him, and that threat­ens me.

–Penn Sta­tion

8th grade boy to an­oth­er: Aren’t I the woman in this re­la­tion­ship?

–Bell Acad­e­my

Woman to friend: He said he want­ed to dress me up, take me out, and show me off to the world. In­stead we’d go out, he’d make me pay, and tell me how great every­one else looked.

–3rd Ave & 37th th

Cute guy in Yan­kees hat: I need a wild, de­struc­tive re­la­tion­ship for awhile.

–Broth­er Jim­my’s, 81st & Am­s­ter­dam

Guy: Yeah, I just got over a long-term re­la­tion­ship. You know, two to three months.

–Star­bucks, 67 & Colum­bus

Guy on cell: I don’t know if I al­ready told you this, but I don’t have a job or a show. So we could go a date un­til the end of time.

–Mac­Dou­gal & 7th St

Steve Gut­ten­berg to way-too-young date: I like you and I would like to see you, just not every day.

–Up­per West Side