Drunk girl: I’m to­tal­ly in­to “Wham, bam, thank you mam.” Peo­ple think it’s trashy but I just wan­na get mine.
Less drunk girl: I like to have re­la­tion­ships, make them work for it. I mean, what do you get out of a one-night-stand?
Drunk girl: One time I stole the guy’s watch.

–LIRR