Cy­clist: So he was all, “my shit is your shit,” and I thought, “that’s the most ro­man­tic thing I’ve heard.”

–Cen­tral Park

Dude on cell, check­ing out sun­block: They don’t have shit here. SPF 15 is too high!

–Du­ane Reade, Flush­ing

Tod­dler that dropped his toy: Oh, shit!

–7th Ave, Park Slope

10-year-old boy to friend: That was like the first time I ever took a shit in a pub­lic bath­room.

–2nd Ave & 9th St

Man in bag­gy jeans walk­ing with gus­to: Oh, yes, oh yeah. She want­ed my shi­i­it… She want­ed my shit!

–6 Train

Chick to friends: He is to­tal­ly go­ing to shit a tam­pon!

–84th St & Am­s­ter­dam