Girl to guy: And I was like, “He bleach­es his ass­hole, what does he know about anato­my?”

–Pratt In­sti­tute, Brook­lyn

Sev­en-year-old girl to boy throw­ing mud at her: Watch it, Jakob! I wore eye­lin­er to­day!

–Fort Greene Park, Brook­lyn

Very large woman on cell: It’s called “Brazil­ian wax job.” You on­ly have to do it like every two weeks. Yep, it itch­es for a day or two, but it’s worth every pen­ny.

–PATH

Over­heard by: Corey

Young la­dy with long curly hair to girl­friend: So, I start­ed dry­ing my hair with pa­per tow­els re­cent­ly.

–Mon­tague St, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: E‑Man>Master of the UNI­VERSE!

Out­raged fem­i­nine gay guy to an­oth­er: He’s hav­ing his lips re­done… again!

–8th Ave & 20th St, Chelsea

Over­heard by: Evan

Woman on cell: Girl, I don’t un­der­stand why you got­ta put on all that make­up just to go for a colonic!

–Wash­ing­ton Heights