Drunk guy, mat­ter-of-fact­ly: Every­one comes in here and thinks they’re smelling pot, when re­al­ly they’re just smelling Ital­ians.

–Ham­mer­stein Ball­room Men’s Room

Young girl on cell: Well, I mean, I have eat­en mac­a­roni. Does that count as Ital­ian?

–Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: Kay­la Mon­et­ta

Man on cell: And this guy smelled like shit! (pause) Yeah, I told him, “you smell like Ital­ian.”

–E 10th & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: molina1230

Loud brides­maid at Gui­do wed­ding: I’m Si­cil­ian from the waist up, Amer­i­can from the waist down.

–Brook­lyn Botan­ic Gar­den

Col­lege guy to friend: From the minute they got here, they start­ed eat­ing. Ital­ian feasts are pornog­ra­phy. Ital­ian food is il­lic­it sex to the pu­ri­tans. Every­thing the pu­ri­tans eat is bland and brown.

–Brook­lyn Col­lege

Mid­dle-aged, pot-bel­lied guy with a long pony-tail, stop­ping young woman on the street: Ex­cuse me, but I just want to say, once you’ve had Ital­ian food, you’re not hun­gry for any­thing else. I just ate a cal­zone and now I’m go­ing to go home and just go to sleep!

–8th St & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Not hun­gry ei­ther