Man to woman: Well, I’ve al­ready been in two suc­cess­ful mar­riages…

–Hud­son Riv­er Park

Talk­a­tive hus­band to blase wife: We’ve been mar­ried for over a year, who would not like us?

–F Train

Over­heard by: Elise

Girl: So, when you say “mar­ried,” is that like “mar­ried-and-just-not-di­vorced-yet,” or like “mar­ried-mar­ried-and-ac­tu­al­ly-liv­ing-to­geth­er”?

–6 Train

Woman on cell: Well, it’s a good thing you did­n’t mar­ry Su­san’s broth­er, be­cause he end­ed up los­ing a tes­ti­cle.

–DUM­BO, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Megan

Woman on cell: Sor­ry, but if I want­ed to be heav­i­ly se­dat­ed and drunk all day, I’d mar­ry you.

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

Over­heard by: Josh

Guy with eye patch: If a girl eats out your ass on the first date, you mar­ry her!

–77th & 34th