Old­er man: If you drank a thou­sand gal­lons of beer, and then took off your pants…

–79th & West End

Girl to guy with beavers on pants: Ex­cuse me, are those beavers on your pants?

–6 Train

20-some­thing prep­py girl on cell: When­ev­er I’m cheat­ing on my boyfriend, I take off my pants and pre­tend to be an al­bi­no bun­ny.

–Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: that one girl

Guy on cell: If I don’t get in her pants tonight, I’m gonna fuck you up!

–1st Ave

Ag­ing drag queen to friend: It’s much bet­ter than sick ob­ses­sions with blond males be­tween the ages of 18 and 25 who al­ways take their pants off to play Game­Cube.

–The Vil­lage

Over­heard by: Amused NYU Tis­chie