Angry young man: She fucking broke up with me over a handjob!
Impassive friend: Well, how did that happen?
Angry young man: I was about to cum, and she was there, right there!, you know? Between my legs! So I told her I was going to, and she just fuckin’ stared at me. I was like, “Baby, this is coming.” Seriously. It does happen. “Lift your shirt up or something,” I said to her. You know? And she just, fuckin’, on her knees, shuffles backwards and to her left–a good three yards away- still whacking me off. So, I’m like, “Baby, what the fuck? You can’t give a handjob from across the room.” You know, dude? That’s like one of those fucking old people extending claw arm shits jerking you off from the corner when you’re sitting in the center of your room! Fuck, dude!
Impassive friend, laughing: Yo, I’d blue-ball you, too, if you called me a fucking robot while I was getting you off!
Overheard by: FrankALank