Black man: I can nev­er watch you eat sausage again. It was the most awk­ward­ly erot­ic thing I’ve ever seen. It was the per­fect com­bi­na­tion of food and fe­male.

–Pratt Cof­fee Shop, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Mary­rose

Boy to friend: And then the teacher said: “and that’s the his­to­ry of ham”!

–Queens

Over­heard by: alex

Young woman on cell: Well, I would go to Gray’s for hot dogs with you, but I can’t. I gave up tubed meat for lent.

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Over­heard by: Car­o­line

Cute teen girl: It’d be like a flop­py bag of meat… (pause) I’m not talk­ing about dick!

–Star­bucks

Woman plac­ing dri­ve-thru or­der: And two ju­nior ba­con cheese­burg­ers. Ac­tu­al­ly, I don’t want the ba­con. I don’t want to get the swine flu.

–Wendy’s Dri­vethru, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Oh the Pig-man­i­ty!

Up­set Or­tho­dox Jew moth­er to ba­by in stroller: Ba­con!? Who told you about ba­con!?

–West End & West 100th St