Guy to friends: A girl fart­ed on my head once, and I dat­ed her for three years.

–14th St & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: MC

Woman to friend: And then he fart­ed in my mouth.

–Ding Dong Lounge

Over­heard by: Ros­alind

Hobo, fart­ing loud­ly, turn­ing at girl walk­ing be­hind him: That’s for you, you fuck­ing bitch!

–Yel­low Line Sub­way Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Craigalanche

Lati­na on cell, firm­ly: I’m not bi-cu­ri­ous, I’m just fart-cu­ri­ous

–49th & 5th

Over­heard by: ol­ga

Crazy hobo: Once, I was eat­ing Crack­er Jacks, you know, the one with the prize in it? When I fin­ished the box, I fart­ed in it, then sealed it up again. When I opened it a week lat­er, I got the sur­prise of my life!

–1 Train

Over­heard by: nel­la