Hip­ster turned emo #1: So, I was think­ing that I should just dye my hair black, wear a lot of dark eye­lin­er, and talk about how much my mom hates me.
Hip­ster turned emo #2: I think that’s a great idea, but you al­so need to stop rep­re­sent­ing your­self as a hap­py in­di­vid­ual, and make sure that the black eye­lin­er has that smudgy look.
Goth fat kid with way too many pierc­ings: Shut the fuck up al­ready. You’re wast­ing my oxy­gen.

–Union Square