Guy to girl: You’re go­ing to re­gret it for the rest of your life if you get the wrong sal­ad.

–So­Ho

Over­heard by: Con­fab­u­la­tion Na­tion

Slen­der wait­ress to two large cus­tomers: Make sure you fin­ish *all* of that! Es­pe­cial­ly the cel­ery. That’s my fa­vorite part! (they look in dis­gust)

–Ap­ple­bee’s, As­to­ria

Yo­ga clothes-clad girl, loud­ly to friend: It is not a veg­etable. It’s a legume!

–6th Ave & W 12th St

Man to woman: So I sayz, “La­dy, you’re my cup­pa tea al­right, but I like the oc­ca­sion­al cu­cum­ber, if you know what I’m sayin’…”

–Her­ald Square

Over­heard by: Mi­ra

Gay guy: I saw peo­ple com­ing out of the woods and I was like, “Agh­hh! Corn chil­dren!”

–8th & 45th

Over­heard by: i’d be scared, too

Sarah Jes­si­ca Park­er’s son: Do you know what kind of let­tuce she likes?

–Wash­ing­ton Square

Over­heard by: Brooke